The Sutra of the Dog's-Life Ascetic.

Is this funny? To me, Punna and Seniya are the Abbot and Costello or Laural and Hardy of the sutras. I find their questioning of the Buddha about the other's future life instead of their own to be touching and hilarious at the same time. I laugh every time I read it.

This is my retelling of the Kukkuravatika Sutta based on the translation by Nanamoli Bhikkhu.

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Thus have I heard. One time these two ascetics walked into a vihara where the Buddha was staying temporarily.

Punna was an ox-functioning ascetic who imitated the life of an ox. He moved with slow deliberate motions. He ate only vegetables. Seniya was a naked dog-function ascetic who imitated the life of a dog even to the point of never wearing clothes, always lying on the floor, and eating food that is thrown on the ground.

The two politely exchanged greetings and small talk with the Blessed One. Seniya, naked with his hair uncut and uncombed, sat to the side of Buddha curled up like a dog. Punna sat too beside him.

Punna and Seniya were the best of friends, but they were each jealous of the animal duty they felt called to practice and they teased often each other saying things like, "You dog you will never get to heaven acting like a dog, only an ox is a noble creature who shows the way to heaven." or "You dumb ox, you will never get enlightened acting like a cow, only by living the freedom of a dog will you find true liberation." Though they teased each other, they remained true companions to each other.

As they settled down and knowing the Buddha's reputation for having the power to know people's future lives, Punna asked, with a sly grin, "Blessed One, Seniya here is a dog's-life ascetic. He really tries hard and is diligent to live like a dog. He even eats from the ground when a donor throws his food down. What is going to become of him? What will be his future destination in rebirth?"

Buddha said, "Oh Punna, please don't ask me that! Let it be. People aren't meant to know what their future lives are going to be."

But now Punna was really curious and repeated his request. "Buddha, come on, Seniya is a really good dog. Isn't that going to make his future wonderful? What's going to come of him?"

And again Buddha said, "No Punna, don't ask me this kind of question. Enough, let it be."

And a third time Punna, said, "Honorable One, Seniya does what is really hard to do. And he's done if for a long time, too. He doesn't even wear clothes. He has lived like a dog with no regard for his shame as a human. He really deserves to hear what his efforts will get him."

Buddha said, "Well, since I certainly can't talk you out of it Punna, by saying 'Enough. Let it be.' I'll answer you. Punna, when a person acts like a dog, walks like a dog, barks like a dog, scratches like a dog, eats like a dog, sleeps like a dog, and fully and unstintingly performs like a dog, then on the dissolution of the body after death they will be reborn in the company of dogs. When you live like a dog and die like a dog, then you will be reborn as a dog. That is, at least if you are truly a dog. But if while acting like a dog a person thinks, 'By being a dog I will get to heaven faster, I will be reborn in heaven after my death, because I gave up my humanity and demonstrated the great goal of unattachment by acting like a dog I will be reborn as a greater or lesser heavenly being where the streets are paved with gold and the days are filled with bliss." If a person acting like a dog has these misguided thoughts of heaven, then of course their wrong views about how things work will lead them straight to hell, they will be reborn directly into hell where they will be whipped, kicked, and starved like a dog."

On hearing this, Seniya began to cry and shed great tears. The Buddha said, "See Punna, you had to ask even though I told you, 'Let it be. Do not ask me that.'"

Seniya said, "It's okay Blessed One, I'm not weeping just because of what you have said. These are not just tears of self-pity; they are tears of joy at hearing the truth from the lips of the Blessed One. But now Venerable sir, please tell us, here is Punna the ox-function ascetic who spends all his time living the plain and simple life of an ox. What will be his karmic reward in the next life?"

Buddha said, "Oh Seniya, please don't ask me that! Let it be. People aren't meant to know what their future lives are going to be."

But now Seniya was even more curious and repeated his request. "Buddha, come on, Punna is a really great ox. Isn't that going to make his future sacred and joyful? What's going to come of him?"

And again Buddha said, "No Seniya, don't ask me this kind of question. Enough, let it be."

And a third time Seniya, said, "Honorable One, Punna does what is really hard to do. And he's done if for a long time, too. He doesn't think of wealth, fame or power. He has lived like an ox with no regard for his shame as a human. Doesn't he really deserve to hear what his efforts will get him?"

Buddha said, "Well, since I certainly can't talk you out of it Seniya, by saying 'Enough. Let it be.' I'll answer you. Seniya. When a person acts like an ox, walks like an ox, eats like an ox, sleeps like an ox, and fully and unstintingly performs like an ox, then on the dissolution of he body after death they will be reborn in the company of oxen. When you live like an ox and die like an ox, then you will be reborn as a ox. That is, at least if you are truly an ox. But if while acting like an ox a person thinks, 'By being an ox I will get to heaven faster, I will be reborn in heaven after my death, because I gave up my humanity and demonstrated the great goal of unattachment by acting like an ox. I will be reborn as a greater or lesser heavenly being where the streets are paved with gold and the days are filled with bliss." If a person acting like an ox has these mistaken thoughts of heaven, then of course their wrong views about how things work will lead them straight to hell, they will be reborn directly into hell where they will be whipped, yoked and put to terribly tedious and tiring labor like an ox."

When this was said, Punna wept and shed tears. Then the Blessed One said to Seniya, "See, I could not persuade you to remain silent,"

Punna said, "Honored One, I am not weeping because the Blessed One has told me this. I have confidence in the Blessed One and know the Blessed One will teach us the Dharma in such a way that we may abandon our animal functions and practice the way."

The Buddha said, "Punna, listen and heed well what I shall say."

"Yes, venerable," he replied.

The Blessed One said: ""Punna, there are four kinds of karma that I proclaim since I have had realization myself with direct knowledge. What are the four? They are dark karma with dark ripening, bright karma with bright ripening, dark-and-bright karma with dark-and-bright ripening, and karma that is not dark and not bright with neither-dark-nor-bright ripening that leads instantly to the exhaustion of karma.
"What is dark karma with dark ripening? It is when someone produces a bodily act with affliction, one produces a verbal act with affliction, or one produces a mental act with affliction. By so doing, that one acting like that reappears in a world with affliction. When that happens, the afflictions of the eye, ear, nose, tongue, body and mind touch the person. Being touched by these, one then feels afflicting feelings deeply painful as in the case of beings in hell. Thus a being's own rebirth is due to the being: One reappears owing to the karmic acts one has performed. When one has reappeared, the contacts of the six senses touch one. Thus I say all beings are heirs of their karmas. This is called dark karma with dark ripening.

"And what is bright karma with bright ripening? It is when someone produces a bodily act without affliction, one produces a verbal act without affliction, and one produces a mental act without affliction. By doing so, the one acting like that reappears in a world without affliction. When that happens, the unafflicting contacts of the eye, ear, nose, tongue, body and mind touch the person. Being touched by these, one feels unafflicted feelings entirely pleasant as in the case of the the gods of Resplendently Radiant Glory. Thus a being's reappearance is due to the being: one reappears owing to the karmas one has performed. When one has reappeared, the six contacts touch one. Thus I say all beings are heirs of their karmas. This is called bright karma with bright ripening.

"What is dark-and-bright karma with dark-and-bright ripening? This is when someone produces a bodily act both with and without affliction, one produces a verbal act both with and without affliction, and one produces a mental act both with and without affliction. By doing so, one reappears in a world both with and without affliction. When that happens, both afflicting and unafflicting contacts of the six senses touch one. Being touched by these, one feels afflicting and unafflicting feelings with mingled pleasure and pain as in the case of human beings and some heavenly beings and some inhabitants of the states of deprivation. Thus a being's reappearance is due to the being: one reappears owing to the karmas one has performed. When one has reappeared, sense contacts touch him. Thus I say all beings are heirs of their karmas. This is called dark-and-bright karma with dark-and-bright ripening.

"What is neither-dark-nor-bright karma with neither-dark-nor-bright ripening that leads to the exhaustion of karma? As to the previous kinds of karma, any choice in abandoning the kind of karma that is dark with dark ripening, any determination in abandoning the kind of karma that is bright with bright ripening, and any decision in abandoning the kind of karma that is dark-and bright with dark-and-bright ripening: this is called neither-dark-nor-bright karma with neither-dark-nor-bright ripening.

"These are the four kinds of karma proclaimed by me after personal realization with direct knowledge."

After hearing this, Punna, a son of the Koliyan clan and an ox-functioning ascetic, said to the Blessed One: "Magnificent, Master Gotama! Magnificent, Master Gotama! The Dharma has been clarified in many ways by Master Gotama as though he were turning upright what had been tipped over, revealing the hidden, showing the way to one who is lost, holding up a lamp in the darkness for those with eyes to see.

"I go to Master Gotama for refuge and to the Dharma and to the Sangha of followers. From today let Master Gotama remember me as a lay follower who has gone to him for refuge for life."

But Seniya the naked dog-function ascetic said: "Magnificent, Master Gotama!... The Dharma has been clarified in many ways by Master Gotama as though he were turning upright what had been tipped over, revealing the hidden, showing the way to one who is lost, holding up a lamp in the darkness for those with eyes to see.

"I go to Master Gotama for refuge and to the Dhamma and to the Sangha of followers. I would receive the going forth under Master Gotama and the full admission as a monk."

The Buddha said, "Seniya, one who has previously belonged to another religion and wants the going forth and the full admission in this Dharma and Discipline has to live on probation for four months. At the end of the four months monks who are satisfied in their minds give the novice the ceremony of going forth into homelessness and also the full admission to the monks' state. During the probation period, a difference in persons has become known to me in this."

Seniya said, "Honored one, if those who belonged formerly to another religion and want the going forth and the full admission in this Dharma and Discipline live on probation for four months and at the end of four months monks who are satisfied in their minds give them the going forth ceremony into homelessness and the full admission to the monks' state, then I will live on probation for four years and at the end of the four years let monks who are satisfied in their minds give me the going forth into homelessness and the full admission to the monks' state."

Seniya the naked dog-function ascetic received the going forth under the Blessed One, and he received the full admission. And not long after his full admission, after dwelling alone, withdrawn, diligent, ardent, and self-controlled, the venerable Seniya by personal realization with direct knowledge immediately and directly entered and abided in that supreme goal of the holy life for the sake of which relatives rightly go forth from the home life into homelessness. He had direct knowledge thus: "Birth is exhausted, the holy life has been lived, what had to be done has been done, there is no more of this to come."

And the venerable Seniya became one of the arhats.

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